Step 1 - Stop Everything
Give yourself a day or two to think things through and to calm your thoughts. Preferably, go away for a couple of days. Book yourself into a hotel, away from friends and family.

The last thing you want at this time is advice from others, however well-meaning they are. This is your life and you need to make your own decisions.

Don't use this time to feel sorry for yourself. Use it to simply gather your thoughts, accept the situation and start to create an action plan to win back your ex.

Use the time to gather your thoughts and prepare for the comments and thoughts of friends and family. They'll all want to help and they'll all have a view as to what you should do.

How are you going to handle them?

What are you going to say?

Think through your answers, but whatever you do, don't enter into conversations that bad-mouth your ex and don't let others do it in front of you. Find ways to change the subject. Find your way to deal with things.

Step 2 - Stay Away From Your Ex... For Now
This is very important. Chasing after your ex immediately after a break-up will cause more harm than good and will probably drive them away for ever.

Your emotions and your ex's emotions will be all over the place and contact at this time will simply lead to arguments and will reinforce in your ex's mind why you separated in the first place.

You both need space and time to come to terms with your thoughts and emotions at this very difficult time, so don't be tempted to contact them. Instead, move on to step 3...

Step 3 - Create An Action Plan
This step vital to your success! Random actions like sending presents, calling on impulse or turning up out of the blue will almost certainly lead to failure.

So, avoid the temptation to dive in and do something straight away.

Remember step 1?

It's important to let go and calm yourself before you do anything.

OK, back to step 3...

To get back your ex, you'll need to attract them back to you.

You'll need to create a plan that will make them fall in love with you all over again...

A plan that'll show your ex things will be different when you get back together...

A plan that'll convince your ex you can be together for ever.

At this point you're creating curiosity, attraction, passion and love from your ex. Think of it as winning them over for the first time. If you can get your ex to feel those sort of emotions, they'll overpower anything that's been felt in the past.

Think carefully about how your relationship was and how you'd like it to be. Above all else, focus on how you want your relationship to be... feel it. Close your eyes and feel your ex in your arms... feel the love between you.

Now, work on ideas to attract your ex back... write them down.

It's at this point that you'll probably need some advice. Take your time... don't rush into ideas given by others or that you read. Think everything through.

I've worked with many people on relationship issues with great success. You can find out more about relationship coaching by clicking here or you can get some great ideas from The Magic of Making Up by T. W. Jackson. TW gives you all the tools you need, plus much more, and will show you exactly how to get back your ex.

Look out for more relationship articles coming very soon...